Today is the U.S. Government-endorsed National Day Of Prayer. Its intention is was to set aside a day for all Americans, regardless of their beliefs, to pray in their own way — hopefully for something positive like a Nintendo Wii because most major higher-beings are all for some fat, gaming action. Hey, it’s America. I have the right to pray the way I want.

This special day started as an act of the Continental Congress is 1775, which President Thomas Jefferson argued was wrong. He believed that while religious organizations should have the right to decree a day of prayer, our government should not. President Truman made the day law in 1952 and in 1988 (the year that Will To Power had a #1 hit with “Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley”) President Ronald Reagan signed into law that the National Day Of Prayer would be on the first Thursday in May.

In 1972 the National Day Of Prayer Committee was formed and they in turn created the National Day Of Prayer Task Force to handle all the day’s events. Hey! Guess where the National Day Of Prayer Task Force is headquartered? That’s right! Within the Focus On The Family facilities. Ooo! Guess who is the current head of the task force? No, but close. It’s Shirley Dobson, wife of Fecal On The Family founder, James Dobson. Somewhere along the way the task force decided that only those that believe in Christ should “officially” partake in the joyous, Congress-enacted, religious event. From their website:

The National Day of Prayer Task Force was a creation of the National Prayer Committee for the expressed purpose of organizing and promoting prayer observances conforming to a Judeo-Christian system of values.

So much for the great American melting pot, I guess.

People with other theological and philosophical views are, of course, free to organize and participate in activities that are consistent with their own beliefs.

Well, that is mighty White of you, neighbor.

Please correct me if I’m misremembering my American history lesions lessons, but I’m pretty sure our forefathers were trying to escape this kind of religious bigotry when we fought to go from a monarchy to a republic. As much as our government tauts our actions across the world, America is not a democracy. In fact, I’d go so far as to say we are probably a plutocracy — which unlike Pluto should be downgraded. Ironic that America seems to be as elitist as Britain’s ruling class was in the 1700’s.

Here now is the year 2007 and the National Day Of Christian Prayer happens to fall on my birthday. Well, my birthday wish and prayer is… oops, let me make sure I can pray today…

Let’s see I grew up Mormon. Checking the Articles Of Faith… Yes! Article #1 states:

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

Dear Heavenly Father, please help our government to see that the National Day Of Prayer falls into all kinds of icky State vs. Church grayness and have them strike it from the law books. That way everyone can have a day of prayer and groups like the National Day Of Prayer Task Force won’t have to have an “Official Policy Statement on Participation of ‘Non-Judeo-Christian’ groups in the National Day of Prayer”. We can all pray to whomever we like and so keep within the spirit of Amendment One of The Bill Of Rights.

And I also pray that when you send your chosen son back to Earth for the third time (yes! third time. Read The Book Of Mormon! Gaaa!) bathed in holy light with a chorus of golden trumpets and singing angels that he gathers up all the people claiming they are Christians but not practicing his — Christ’s — teachings, looks them over in all his perfect glory, gives them all his knowing smile, showers them with love and understanding and says unto them, “You guys are dicks.” And then goes to do other good.

Now about that Wii…

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Listening to: “Love” - Smashing Pumpkins

I challenge Lexus owners to be more considerate drivers.

I challenge the rest of you to prove that the considerate Lexus driver (Asshollious vehiclularian) is not extinct.

If you own a Lexus and are a considerate driver, I just wanted to warn you that the majority of your peers are giving you a bad rap with their dickweed driving-ways.

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Listening to: “Too Many Walls” - Cathy Dennis

Faggot. Not “F-word.” Faggot. Not that “hurtful slang.” Faggot.

Who decided that these words are bad or hurtful anyway? Well, in this case, we did. The gay community decided that being called faggot is a low, demeaning and hateful thing. So why are we using euphemisms for it? John Amaechi, the new Human Rights Campaign (HRC) spokesperson, said in their statement that words have power. True… if we let them have power. Every time I read a statement released with one of the above euphemisms instead of faggot I wince because we are giving the word more power.

Ann Coulter’s use of faggot was to insinuate that not only are those of us in the GLBT community sub-human, but that an intelligent, well-spoken, up-and-coming politician is as well. In fact, her excuse of it being a schoolyard taunt is even more wrong. Bullying is simply not cool. It never has been. There are so many anti-bullying organizations now that one would think it was a national disease. It’s a human disease and her reasoning digs her deeper in her hole. Ann Coulter: Schoolyard Bully. Not the best label if one wants to stay in the public eye, so let’s start using it so she will become hugely unpopular! C’mon! Everyone is calling her that now! It’s the cool thing to do.

What we can’t do is say things like “Equal rights for everyone. Except Ann Coulter.” That makes us as hypocritical as Coulter is thoughtless. Distasteful as it is, bantering the Bill Of Rights around would be wrong as well. (Won’t someone think about the Bills Of Rights?!) We live in a country where people can say anything; however, since we find it distasteful, we can use that same right to make our disdain for her words heard. This does actually work sometimes. She is starting to lose some of her advertisers who — it turns out — weren’t even aware that they were sponsoring her.

And frankly, I’m glad that I’ve yet to read of anyone demanding an apology from Coulter, which would be a joke in itself. Anyone can apologize. They are just words. It’s the intent and the actions that give them meaning. Any apologize from her would be completely empty and vapid. She lives for this kind of controversy. I know there are several out there who want to make sure that our community’s outrage is felt, but it has to be done with meaning and thoughtful passion otherwise we are giving her exactly what she wants: our outrage, our ire, our sputtering, emotional retaliation. She eats it like candy — sweet, sweet mean candy. Her apathy for those around her who aren’t paying her meal ticket has seemed to consume her, but I’m hoping she may have chocked on her dinner this time.

As a gay man I am upset, but as a comedian I am utterly offended by Coulter claiming her comment was a joke. First, a joke must be what is commonly known as funny. In order for this to be funny it either has to be hugely surreal and bizarre or have some grain of truth in it. It’s not weird. It’s old-hat and a tired old joke. And from the little I know about him, John Edwards seems to be pretty secure in his sexuality. There are not even rumors to make the joke funny. You see, when we make fun of, for example, Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kevin Spacey, we aren’t pointing out them per se. The joke is connected to the rumors of them being gay — these big names just happen to be in the line of fire.

Besides, there is one more aspect of her little punchline that she has missed entirely. People aren’t going into rehab for saying faggot. They’re going into rehab for making public asses of themselves.

Which reminds me…

Ann, Betty Ford called. She says your room is ready.

See? That’s how to make an old joke mean and funny.

Listening to: New Year’s Day - U2

This is the F Minus strip from yesterday. Tony Carrillo’s creation is one of the best of the new generation of comic strips with very twisted and surreal one-panel funnies. The one above made me laugh, but it also made me think.

Carrillo’s sense of humor is a wonderful mix of the every day with a dash of the dark, so the strip above is not a surprise coming from him. It’s funny, yet disturbing at the same time, which is what Carrillo was probably going for. In my mind, I believe the vagabond simply enjoys entertaining especially kids. I can understand that since kids can be either a great audience or tough-as-nails critics. Ooo, you do NOT want the latter — they do not hold back like adults. At the same time though, kids will give suggestions that adults simply don’t think of or can’t bring themselves to say because — well, dammit, they are adults! Plus kids like it when you fall down a lot, which I love doing.

So why does this strip also bring up the icky feelings as well. Is it because the man is a stranger? Is it because he has no home? Is it the way the wall is drawn so you get the feeling the kids are being unsupervised when you know the dad is probably looking out a window? Is it because the kids are eerily and too easily entertained by origami?

The fact is that most adults like kids and it’s the extreme minority that has ruined our innocence and has caused parents world round to encase their kids in a protective box. I don’t blame them. I’d be the same way. Maybe I’m just living in a movie world where everything is as it seems based on the score being played. In my mind, the hobo in the strip has a light, comedic score playing and everything is fine with the world. It’s one of the inauspicious things of becoming an adult — the slowly dawning knowledge to the evil portion of the world we are living in.

There are several factors contributing to those icky feelings: society, laws, upbringing, morales. I welcome the feelings. It means I have a little cricket telling me right and wrong (and that wishing upon a star will get me what I want. The liar!) It’s that small minority that has ruined it for the rest of us as the saying goes — the ones that seem to have no Jiminy whispering to them that have contributed to the fall in trust in our fellow humans. I want to be believe with all my heart that the toothless, unwashed man simply wants acceptance and that entertaining those kids may even be helping him to better his life, but then those protective feelings raise up and I want to call the kids inside and ask Mr. Origami to quietly live the property. I wish there was a way to trust, but until we can read each other’s minds there is no way of truly knowing someone’s motives.

Even then though, I have a feeling that humans would find a way to disguise even their thoughts and the loss of innocence would continue.

Listening to: Never Tear Us Apart - INXS

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The hilarious picket-sign picture was done by Hayes.