I tend to be liberal in my thinking. No, really. I’m all for energy policy reform with renewable power sources because modern windmills are so cool to look at when driving by in your car. I guess the term nowadays is ‘progressive’ as liberal has been turned into a dirty word somehow, yet the conservatives that helped make the word synonymous with being unpatriotic have themselves no problems with naughty language. Take this excerpt from a piece of hate mail that Daily Kos got (you can read the entire thing here):

I’d like to personally kick the shit out of you. But since you’re probably in New York or Los Angeles, that’s not going to happen. I’ve been to Los Angeles. What a shithole. I’d like to get some good pizza in NY, but not at the risk of running across assholes like anyone on the New York Times, Madonna, David Letterman, or any other cocksucking liberal.

I have one huge problem with this well-thought-out debate on whether Obama as President would open the gates to terrorist attacks:

There is nothing wrong with cocksucking!

Cocksucking is a glorious and respected past time and should never used in a way that would make someone think the cocksucker is some sort of horrible, hairy monster salivating at the very thought of mouthing cock. The funny thing is this guy — c’mon, it has to be a guy. No woman I know would miss the chance of running into Madonna in NY and thumping her on the head for making it that much harder to live up to sexual expectations — should be exalting the act of cocksucking because, well, he’s a guy. If it popped up in his political jargon then you know he’s thinking about it. He’s actively imagining scenarios where he drunkenly picks up some girl but is not able to erect the “Burj Dubai” or is soliciting someone in an airport bathroom stall hoping to sting the back of a throat.

In other words, leave cocksuckers alone because you know you want ‘em. Besides, there is nothing wrong with them some mouthwash and an antibiotic can’t cure.

Listening to: “Sensation” - Bryan Ferry

I need some clarity. As I get older, I realize that I have become more and more interested in our government. Unfortunately, I took Social Studies over 20 years ago, but back then we were taught that the people are supposedly in charge of the government. We send public servants to represent us in our government ergo (I love that word, don’t you?) we have a republic NOT a democracy which our current administration continues to preach as if we were beginning another Crusades — you know, those religious wars in the 11th, 12th and 13th Centuries? Oh, how history loves to get stuck in a irrationality loop. Sometimes, I wish we could just Ctrl-Alt-Delete the past few decades just to clear out the unnecessary cache. Ha! Cache! Get it? Since it seems that we are governed more by cash than by the citizenry?

Nevermind.

However, I would like to go on and on about the public servant part of that last paragraph. Whatever happened to that term? No one uses it anymore even though we are still putting people in office to supposedly work for us. Quite frankly, I think our government — and ultimately, we, the people — look too much outside our country and not enough inside. Why? Who wants to look at your insides? They are all gross and bloody and should just operate on automatic, right? It may be a weird analogy, but it seems to fit. In no way am I saying that we should become isolationists, but I do think we should take our fingers out of everyone’s pie and use utensils instead. Our fingers shouldn’t be in our pie either. We should be baking fresh pie and sharing it with our citizens.

Let’s face it. Most of what is happening inside of America is ugly and we don’t want to see it. The fact is we should be facing it as we would the horror movies that Hollywood puts out to entertain. Just look at Sicko and the section about how our hospitals are dropping off people who need medical care. Look at the fact that none of the firehouses damaged in New Orleans have been repaired.

It has to start with us — the citizens of the United States Of America. Here is our government job: to keep the people we put in government who represent us in check. We have got to speak louder. It doesn’t matter your political affiliation. It doesn’t matter if the majority doesn’t agree with you. The fact is that communication with your representatives has never been easier with our new technology. Go to their website and tell them how you feel. If you are angry, tell them that. Don’t threaten, but state your anger in a logical way. Let them know. Tell them if they are doing a good job, too. Everyone likes praise and a little ‘attaCongressperson’ might make them less bitter; less jaded. Our government officials aren’t machines; they are human with emotions just like us and will sometimes react accordingly.

The thing is that we put our representatives in their position. We pay their salary. They should answer to us. We are their special interest group. If they see that many of their constituency are of the same mind and of the same opinion, they should be protecting our interest in government instead of catering to any special interest groups that may be bankrolling their latest car, house, campaign or casino/resort in their hurricane-ravaged city. If you don’t like the way our representative is handling things, get out and vote to give someone else their job. It’s that simple.

I realize these are all basics of that Social Studies class, but it seems that we increasingly have forgotten our rights and duties. We have become lazy — yes, myself included — and we all need to change this. Take a couple of minutes and find out who your Federal representatives are and then your state and city officials, too. At least, found out how to find out. Here, I’ll eliminate a step. Congress.org will give you a federal and state list by simply putting in your zip code. If nothing else, go out, register and then vote. You may be tired of the campaigning, but remember one thing, this is a bunch of people interviewing for a job and we are the hiring committee. All you need to do to get on this committee is fill out a short registration form. In fact, here is a good place to start.

Okay, class dismissed. Don’t forget your homework and remember the only major test will be on November 4th, so do a little research and come prepared to have your say.

Listening to: “I Beg Your Pardon (I Never Promised You A Rose Garden)” - Kon Kan

Like with that and the video do make those with the beauty contest-type girls believe in the stereotypes under, uh, for them that have digged them in the hole that dug.

I sincerely hope this is just taken out of context or that she froze up on stage; however, that didn’t stop me from sending this atrocity to Hot Doctor Wife to vent about the fact that these girls are competing for a scholarship to learn. Holy Air Brain! We should really give the losers a scholarship and the winners a job. Or better yet, give me the money. I want to go back to school to finish my degree. I qualify! I can easily point out the U.S., South Africa and Iraq on a map. Now don’t hate me because I’m smart — hate me because I’m pretty, too.

Isn’t there a scholarship out there that people who are passionate about broadening (huh, I said ‘broad’) their education? In fact with me being 40 — and supposedly more responsible — I would make the perfect student: engrossed and eager to learn so I can change my career path to a field I’ve loved all my life. Now shower me with money for college! That is as long as I don’t have to put petroleum jelly on my… teeth! I said teeth!

Anyway, I wanted to share the conversation HDW and I had while we were talking about it.

HDW: OH MY GOD, I saw this yesterday!!! What an idiot.

Howard: She’s only there for looks, baby.

HDW: And those are questionable. She should be in porn. You know, something in her mouth to shut her up. ZIIIIIIIIIING!

Howard: “Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! I love it when you fill me with your The Iraq. Yeah, U.S. Americans are so American! Yeah! Touch my South Africa. C’mon! Touch my South Africa! Twist my the map that people can’t, uh, get.”

HDW: HAHAHAHHAA

Howard: I’m so turning this into a post.

Everyone is a beauty-contestant finalist at Humor-blogs.com and most can actually point at a map.

Listening to: “Bloc Bloc Bloc” - Orchestral Maneuvers In The Dark

Today is the U.S. Government-endorsed National Day Of Prayer. Its intention is was to set aside a day for all Americans, regardless of their beliefs, to pray in their own way — hopefully for something positive like a Nintendo Wii because most major higher-beings are all for some fat, gaming action. Hey, it’s America. I have the right to pray the way I want.

This special day started as an act of the Continental Congress is 1775, which President Thomas Jefferson argued was wrong. He believed that while religious organizations should have the right to decree a day of prayer, our government should not. President Truman made the day law in 1952 and in 1988 (the year that Will To Power had a #1 hit with “Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley”) President Ronald Reagan signed into law that the National Day Of Prayer would be on the first Thursday in May.

In 1972 the National Day Of Prayer Committee was formed and they in turn created the National Day Of Prayer Task Force to handle all the day’s events. Hey! Guess where the National Day Of Prayer Task Force is headquartered? That’s right! Within the Focus On The Family facilities. Ooo! Guess who is the current head of the task force? No, but close. It’s Shirley Dobson, wife of Fecal On The Family founder, James Dobson. Somewhere along the way the task force decided that only those that believe in Christ should “officially” partake in the joyous, Congress-enacted, religious event. From their website:

The National Day of Prayer Task Force was a creation of the National Prayer Committee for the expressed purpose of organizing and promoting prayer observances conforming to a Judeo-Christian system of values.

So much for the great American melting pot, I guess.

People with other theological and philosophical views are, of course, free to organize and participate in activities that are consistent with their own beliefs.

Well, that is mighty White of you, neighbor.

Please correct me if I’m misremembering my American history lesions lessons, but I’m pretty sure our forefathers were trying to escape this kind of religious bigotry when we fought to go from a monarchy to a republic. As much as our government tauts our actions across the world, America is not a democracy. In fact, I’d go so far as to say we are probably a plutocracy — which unlike Pluto should be downgraded. Ironic that America seems to be as elitist as Britain’s ruling class was in the 1700’s.

Here now is the year 2007 and the National Day Of Christian Prayer happens to fall on my birthday. Well, my birthday wish and prayer is… oops, let me make sure I can pray today…

Let’s see I grew up Mormon. Checking the Articles Of Faith… Yes! Article #1 states:

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

Dear Heavenly Father, please help our government to see that the National Day Of Prayer falls into all kinds of icky State vs. Church grayness and have them strike it from the law books. That way everyone can have a day of prayer and groups like the National Day Of Prayer Task Force won’t have to have an “Official Policy Statement on Participation of ‘Non-Judeo-Christian’ groups in the National Day of Prayer”. We can all pray to whomever we like and so keep within the spirit of Amendment One of The Bill Of Rights.

And I also pray that when you send your chosen son back to Earth for the third time (yes! third time. Read The Book Of Mormon! Gaaa!) bathed in holy light with a chorus of golden trumpets and singing angels that he gathers up all the people claiming they are Christians but not practicing his — Christ’s — teachings, looks them over in all his perfect glory, gives them all his knowing smile, showers them with love and understanding and says unto them, “You guys are dicks.” And then goes to do other good.

Now about that Wii…