Fan dull spark of idea into blog entry to continue consecutive daily postings thus ensuring increased readership. Start with non-witty opening statement, e.g. "It’s me again", "…so I walked into a tree". Then vague segue into fat of story. Sprinkle with expletives to increase hits.

Before fat, introduce back story to set-up ‘punch line’. Fill with semi-interesting anecdotes to keep reader from being completely bored and moving on to the next blog. Try ham-fisted transition into story. Sprinkle with expletives to increase hits.

Before story, cue total best friend and tell something funny about them that has nothing to do with story. Include compliments to make sure ‘best’ friend doesn’t sue. Throw in Southern platitude to absolve you of all guilt, i.e. "…bless his/her heart". Sprinkle with expletives to increase hits.

Tell story leading up to pay off. Include all details down to color, style and make of tile upon which ‘friend’ has slipped and fallen on his/her body part du jour. Sprinkle expletives in the dialogue only to make friend sound as uncultured as possible to endear friend to readers with an IQ of 90 or less.

Type pay off in its own paragraph to make sure punch line is not missed as if you are waving your arms and screaming, "Look! This is the funny part! Don’t miss it! Can you believe he/she said this! Did you miss it? Go back and read it again! It’s so funny!"

Continue with other details of events to make story longer than readers’ patience. Include one or more acronyms here to let everyone know you are laughing, too, e.g. "LOL", "OMG", "FOOCAACRAOTFBYASASB". Repeat tomorrow.

Listening to: Open Your Heart - Ladytron