Sticker Ideas
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 at 12:00 am
Remember when I said that I was looking at getting cancer as a new friend to poke fun at? Here’s where I start. The following are some sticker ideas I’ve had since being diagnosed because that’s how I deal with things.
The first one came to me when on my first day driving. I was still in some pain from the surgery and was taking it easy since my car’s a manual. As cars zipped past me in their hurried, self-centered way, I realized that I wish I had a sticker on the car that said:
I can drive as slowly as I want. I have cancer.
While at work, there was a client who was complaining about her job loudly which brought this one to light:
Shut. Up. Your voice is hurting my cancer.
Since my little health situation has come to light, more and more people are coming out of the cancer closet. People are confessing to me their cancer survival stories now that I’m in their exclusive cult, so I thought we should all have a sticker that says:
Cancer is the new black.
And then there is my personal favorite because I think I’m all witty and whatnot:
When life gives you lymphoma, make lymphonade!
Most don’t think that one is funny, but I find it hilarious. Have any you can add? I’m a firm believer in laughter being the best medicine, so don’t hold back. Andy already gave me some in the comments of another post. Join in!
Listening to: “Kukuxumusu” by Electric Six
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 am
MY Oncologist Can Beat Up YOUR Oncologist
I have cancer. What’s your excuse?
One more course of chemo and I will be radioactive.
Helping my oncologist put in a new pool.
that’s all I got.
Just a little FYI, you are one of 3 bloggers I read to get cancer:(
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:39 am
I like “Cancer is the new black.” You straight outta Compton, How.
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:18 am
Lymphoma sounds like it could be a drag queen name, and Leukemia sounds like a drag king name. Can’t think of anything funny without coffee. But thought I’d throw out those observations.
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:22 am
So Steve, would that be:
Lyn Foma and Lou Kemia? :)
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 am
A quick one cuz I have a meeting to go to:
I’m busy kicking cancer’s ass now, but yours is on my list!
I’ll think about this and get back to you.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:48 am
You’re seeking humor, and my specialty is bad taste, so here are some:
You’re over 40. Do you know where your cancer is? [a number of studies show that most people have undetected cancer cells somewhere in their body, though usually in small numbers]
Cancer. It’s not just for astrologers any more.
Honk if you can spell lymphoma.
I’m a lymphomaniac and I swallow.
Ok. I promised bad taste, not laughter.
Keep going for the humor, Howard! Laughter conquers all.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Oh my gosh. There’s actually some bumper stickers out there! Check out http://www.cafepress.com/planetcancer.13230869
Among their stickers and slogans:
How’s my driving? Yeah? Well that’s tough. I had cancer.
Cancer. There are easier ways to build character.
Actually, check out their top ten lists, too: http://planetcancer.org/html/c.....p?cat_Id=4
Planetcancer.org has this motto: When no one else thinks it’s funny, we’re here.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:20 am
“When life gives you lymphoma, make lymphomade!” is actually the funniest one, and you should make that one. That was the one that made me laugh big.
Also, “Cancer. It’s not just for astrologers any more.” is very funny. It took a second, but as a budding astrologer, it hit my funny bone.
I’m not that funny, so I don’t have any suggestions, but I’ll keep my mind open and see what drops in. Keep laughing.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:04 am
To all: You’ve made me so proud.
DaDuck: I love the radioactive one the best. :)
Frogster: Word.
Steve: Funny idea…
Hayes: Way to run with that idea. Hilarious!
Jami: Ooo! A mean one. Love it!
Hermit: Bad taste is the best kind of humor! And I can’t believe someone beat me to the punch. I’ll definitely have to do the lymphonade one now.
Peg: See I’ve committed to doing it now. Glad you like the lymphonade one.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:04 am
*chortle* Oh, I needed these dark, dark laughs today… x
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:24 am
I’m glad that it’s helping others, too. :)
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:14 am
Oh my gosh… I just did a search for ‘cancer humor’ on cafepress.com, and would you believe that there are 2,530 different designs available? of the few that I’ve looked at, I think I like the sticker that says “I’m making cancer my bitch” ( http://www.cafepress.com/buy/c.....c_666/pg_1) the best…. but check out some of the other ones, too.
I think cancerics must have a wonderful sense of humor!
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:38 am
Well, I’m glad that there are people out there who deal with it in a fun and positive way. Makes me feel little more part of an ‘in’ crowd within the cancer clique.
April 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 pm
OK, I’m back and I went to CafePress and read all theirs. Stealers!
“Chemo sure put a lymp in my lymphoma”
Sorry, that’s all I got left after they took all my good ones.
April 2nd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
My tumor is bigger than your tumor.
[Picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger] It is a tumor.
I’d rather have Cancer than crabs.
That’s a tumor in my pocket and yes, I am happy to see you.
Oncologist? That sounds like a clown horn. Honk honk.
Cancer!? That’s Hil-arious!
[The last two are from Strangers With Candy]
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Cancer? I don’t even know her!
Cancer-over 400 Billion served
Cancer-at least it’s not AIDS
Cancer-takes the hair off your chest…and head.
Cancer can’t take away my funny bone unless it attacks the marrow.
(For unhappy husband) Cancer-cheaper then a divorce!
My karma ran over my Leukemia.
Cancer cured my dandruff.
Punchin out Maverick…
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Jami, BD, Chris: *sniff* you guys make me proud.
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
‘Cancer can’t take away my funny bone unless it attacks the marrow.
Cancer cured my dandruff’
Those are awesome.
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:49 pm
My son went and got cancer and all I got was a glass of lymphmade
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Mom: I can get you a t-shirt instead.
April 3rd, 2008 at 5:46 am
I love the last one!
What’s your sign? I’m a Cancer (patient).
I just scrolled up to see if I stole anyone’s and it’s kinda like The Hermit’s. Oops! Hi Hermit! But I’m still posting it anyway. I can’t be expected to be both clever AND original.
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:25 am
@ Hayes YES
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:35 am
The more I think about this, it’s your fault, Howard! There are tons of great jokes for testicular cancer, but you had to go and get Lymphoma…
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:28 am
Craig: Oh, yours is funny, too. There, there.
Steve: Gosh, I’m sooooo sorry.
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:55 pm
‘Cancer: like it or lump it.’
‘Who can beat cancer? I can, sir!’
‘Cancer has wiped out millions. What have YOU done today?’
‘Baldly going.’
‘My other car died of cancer.’
‘I May Have Cancer, But At Least I Don’t Have That Face’.
‘My Illness Could Beat Up Your Illness’.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Craig: It’s ok. Your version was funnier and less obfuscatory. And besides, I’m good at sharing!
April 4th, 2008 at 11:28 am
“If it had to be cancer or Goldfrapp, I’ll take cancer”
“I take it in the can, sir” <– okay, that’s just lame, but I’m not above showing my failings.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Rick: That second one is such a Larry joke.
And what is this constant picking on Goldfrapp? Is it only because I like
them? Hmmph!
April 8th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
And, once again proving bad taste is not the exclusive reserve of our cousins across the Atlantic, I’m back again with these…
“I may have cancer but at least I’ve got style”
“Chemo is a jealous lover. It made me leave my hairdresser”
“Smoking kills. I’m living proof.”
“Chemotherapy isn’t my first encounter with dangerous chemicals. But it’s the first that didn’t result in me having sex with someone whose face I couldn’t remember the next day.”
(Okay, so that last one is a bit too long for a bumper sticker, but hey…It could work on stage…)
Actually, I might get the smoking one done up as a t-shirt…x
Andy aka Spicy Cauldron’s last blog post..Decadence, thy name is Cat
April 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Howard, you’re really gonna have to sort out a top ten, you’ve got so many now! x
Andy aka Spicy Cauldron’s last blog post..Decadence, thy name is Cat
May 3rd, 2008 at 5:02 pm
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