I give up.

I was tagged by Hayes, Leland and Shannon with this and since I had nothing better today, I give you my 8 items meme thingy about me and stuff.

Shall we begin?

ONE
My earliest memory involves two members of the female gender. I was playing trucks with a neighbor girl in a sand box when she got mad at me and threw sand in my eyes. Running home crying — c’mon, I had stinging granules in my ocular cavities — my Aunt Wanda scooped me up, rushed me to the sink and saved me from certain death. For some reason, she was always my favorite aunt on my dad’s side.

TWO
I spent over 100 American dollars on a rare CD a couple of years ago simply because I wanted one song for which I had been searching over 10 years. The album? Robin Gibb’s Secret Agent for the song “Boys Do Fall In Love”. Yes, I’m a music whore.

THREE
I grew up in the South with a Mormon mom, a British father and Southern Baptist friends. I like to think that I think differently.

FOUR

When my parents finally got rid of our red Rambler station wagon with which I grew up, I cried as if we had lost a family member.

FIVE
My one and only girlfriend and I went on a date to see Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan. She wanted to get all cozy and kept playing with my hand and putting my arm around her. I needed that arm to wipe the snot off my face. For god’s sake, woman! Can’t see that Spock is dying?!

SIX
Speaking of movies, my favorite of all time is Amelie. I saw it eleven times in the theaters. You’d think my two-years of high school French would have come back to me by then. Nope. All I still remember is “Je ne sais pas”. You can imagine how I squealed when Audrey Tautou said it in the film and I didn’t need to read the subtitles.

SEVEN
I was circumcised twice.

EIGHT
I loved “The Banana Splits Adventure Hour” especially the cartoons they would show between their antics. Shorts like “Arabian Knights” (”SIIIIZE OF AN ELEPHANT!”) and “The Three Musketeers” particularly because I had a huge crush on Porthos (he’s the one on the right). I still love me some big, brawny red heads with facial hair.

I’m supposed to tag eight other people, so eight of you that have eight fun and interesting things you want to blog about, go for it! Let me know if you do.

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Listening to: “Night Sight” - Air

One Sentence Review: 1408

You will believe… that John Cusack is a great actor and that Samuel L. Jackson needs to do more movies where he isn’t knee-deep in self-parody although he did deliver the line “It’s an evil fucking room” with superb Shakespearian aplomb.

Alternate sentence: Made better by the constant use of The Carpenters’ “We’ve Only Just Begun”.

Get this — I won Diesel’s latest caption contest. Both his and this blog are listed on Humor-Blogs.com!

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Listening to: “New York, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down” - LCD Soundsystem

The weekly collection of interesting reads from around the blogosphere.
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Yeah, it’s been that long. With every thing that’s gone on for the past two weeks, I let a few things go. This isn’t every thing that I enjoyed over the past few weeks, just the stuff I remembered to mark, so here goes…

Jami had a bunch of great stuff including a joke from her son, a joke from her daughter, this great poster and this history lesson from Bill Maher. She’s been busy for sure.

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THIS JUST IN! Shane has Spice Girls news! Yeah, so it’s probably not relative anymore, but it is fun news for anyone who has a guilty pleasure or five.

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Here is one of Godwhacker’s more serious finds about a reporter being arrested for — get this — asking a question. I hope I don’t get arrested tonight because I processed a rental for Catwoman.

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In other serious news, Pam had this post about the correlation between states’ party affiliation and their level of health care, education and minimum wage.

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This is what happens when Sauron becomes a space villain.

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Scott Adams tells his best story and it is rather good.

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Hayes posted the conclusion of his coming-out story.

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Which character would you be? Craig at Puntabulous has started a great meme that anyone can follow. Yes, Craig, I plan on doing it, too. I just need life to stop being so melodramatic of late.

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…and finally, the bitches at MadTV totally stole my joke for the end of The Wizard Of Oz. Nancy and I watch the film once a month or so when we work together at the video store. Over the past eight years of spending Fridays nights with her, I’ve come up with enough material to do my own MST3K including Dorothy going apeshit when she finds out she could have gone home the entire time. I have to give props to MadTV for the Tin Man twist at the end. Thanks to Adrian at Lone Star Verve for posting the video.

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Listening to: “Low” - Cracker

(No, that’s not a threat aimed at Zombie Howard. Coterie is a group of prairie dogs.)

Instructions: Read the headline out loud and then begin this video:

Got this from Cute Overload and can’t stop watching it. The video it is taken from is here. Whoever watched the original and realized that with a piece of dramatic music from an old movie (that involves a train) you can make an immediate comedy classic was an inspired genius. And because it is so short it demands repeated viewings.

I’ve been laughing so hard that I’ve been crying and, since my hayfever has been kicking my ass, you can imagine all the goop that is flowing from my eyes and nose right now. Score! I’m going to watch it again!

See what song was stuck in my head when I woke up over at Waking Up With Morning Song.

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Listening to: “Spare-Ohs” - Andrew Bird