The crazed and fractured geniuses at Think Geek have come up with what others have only made jokes about. They have put Bluetooth technology into those old-fashioned rotary phone handsets. That’s right, all you have to do is hide your cell phone somewhere on your person and enjoying a stimulating conversation with your friends about the latest Brady Bunch episode or any other 50’s, 60’s or 70’s reference you can collectively come up with.

This is a great way to fill that need for attention that has been gnawing at you. Of course, most of the attention will not be positive — mostly just stares with open mouths.  Now if they’d only make a Princess Phone version so you can go around the rich and exclusive shopping centers like, say, Cherry Creek in Denver and subversively start the latest tasteless trend.  Except the princess version will cost $349 because it’s so hard to get the wires though that tiny, little handle. At least that’s what the ad will say. We all know it’s because the trendy will pay that much to maintain their ‘cool’. And we all know there is nothing more cool than walking through a high-end mall, carrying your little chihuahua and talking on your cordless princess phone.

Listening to: (And I am not kidding you, this started almost exactly when I looked up the spelling of chihuahua) Jesusita De Chihuahua - Esquivel