My favorite candy in the world is Sweetarts — those little candy pills that are sweet & tart at the same time. I absolutely adore the flavor combination and can go through a roll or box in no time flat which leaves my tongue numb and my appettite murdered in the corner wallowing in its own blood.

Now Wonka has come out with a new "liquid" form of the candy in little squeeze bottles in two flavors: Wild Cherry & Green Apple. The new product is called Sweetarts Squeez. There is no need for the final ‘e’ in the name. By the time people hopped up on this liquid sugar herorin get to the squeeze part, they’ll already be distracted by something shiny.

I’ve already replaced my regular toothpaste with it. The granules of sugar are certainly scraping away the years of yellowy build-up caused by coffee and Pepsi. Soon I’ll be the poster child of the Carpenters’ song "Sweet, Sweet Smile".

Listening to: I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ - Scissor Sisters

This video speaks for itself. In my book using humor to make your point? Genius.

Listening to: Theme From "Mantrap" - ABC

Cameron and I had our first trip to Target last night. My understanding is that is the first sign that things are getting serious, but I say he was in need of a big fan for his apartment for the heat and I had a car. It did make me feel good to help him create a more comfortable living situation though.

We stopped by Peter’s Chinese Cafe for some take out and head back to my place to watch more episodes of “The Venture Bros.” when I noticed an apartment complex on 13th & Elizabeth called The Cameo. My window was down and was suddenly overcome by my musical dorkdom and holla, “Word up!” out the open car window.

I asked Cameron how many times he thought people did that and said probably all the time. My co-worker, Eric, thought that around 1987 it probably happened all the time, but in the last 10 years — never. He said I was showing my age and probably going through my mid-life crisis.

I asked Mateo and he got all excited about it and said that in Denver there is the Word Up Christian Center on S. Colorado Blvd. He drives by it all the time (and suddenly I realize that I do, too, but have never noticed it) and always hollas out da winduh, “Word up!” My first thought was that it may be slightly inappropriate in our society to do something like that, but after visiting their website I noticed they link directly to Focus On The Family. I find it extremely appropriate now and will be screaming “word up” everything I pass it now. Won’t you?

Yes, I realize that it’s childish and, if anyone from the Center hears it, they will probably think we are supporting them and will not pick up on the irony or sarcasm. Much like that video going around of the Australian “reporter” interviewing Fred Phelps Jr. and then coming on to him. The situation is hilarious, but it also gives an insight to the minds of the people supporting Phelps. They are so intently one-minded about their mission that they are ignorant of the mocking. All they can do in their emotional rationale is lower themselves to name calling which, as I learned from The Dilbert Blog today, is called Confirmation Bias. The video shows they have completely lost touch with the outside world especially the difficult-to-navigate layers of The Funny. That in itself is comical and explains why so many find the video hilarious. Of course, this makes me (and many others I’m sure) wish they would go to some compound and sequester themselves away in their own world and stop impeding on everyone else’s especially those grieving families of our soldiers killed in combat.

For extra fun, listen to the Dictionaraoke version.

[UPDATE] Or, thanks to Stolie, watch the video which stars Levar Burton before he wore a hair clip over his eyes.

Listening to: Flirting With Time - Tom Petty

When I arrived at the video store the other day, I found two bags of M&Ms that had been there all week unopened. Such a crime. The bags of chocolate goodness were with a VHS tape that was broken. Upon inquiring, I discovered that a customer had returned the tape with the M&Ms, but no one knew the offender and so hadn’t opened the bags. I did.

After having a few of the peanut-covered yummies, the person who had donated them coincidentally came into the store. She is a good customer and known to those of us who have been there for a while, but the newbies may not since she doesn’t rent often anymore. Offended that no one had eaten her gift, she proceeded to tell me the story of the broken tape.

She had placed the movie on a laundry bag on top of her car for a trip to the laundromat. What she didn’t notice was the rental had fallen off the car while she was loading other things into her vehicle. As she began to back out, she felt a bump as the tape was crushed beneath her tire. Thinking that was strange, she pulled a classic Eddie Murphy joke: she pulled forward to see what she had run over and promptly crushed the tape again. The movie she had damaged beyond all repair?

Clueless.

Listening to: Gold Into Straw - Brendan Benson