Entertainment Weekly has a report up that J.K. Rowling is planning on killing off TWO characters for the seventh and final book in the Harry Potter series. This comes at a time when I’m about to pick up the series and read it again. Frankly — and go ahead and call me a rude synonym for a sentimentalist — I’m not sure I am yet ready to dive into Book 6 again. Oy.

So here are the official Web Pen predictions for the deaths in Harry Potter And The End Of The Series That Got Kids To Read Again:

1. Snape - He is the Judas character here. I believe that he is under an Unbreakable Vow with Dumbledore and that’s why the Headmaster always trusted him. Of course, that begs the question: does an Unbreakable Vow break when one of the persons dies? And is Dumbledore actually dead? Remember, his ‘familiar’ or pet IS a phoenix. Regardless, Snape will show his true colors colours (we are talking about a British book here), finally, and will be killed by Voldemort or one of his minions in his great ‘redemption’ moment. Possibly in an assassination attempt or to rob You-Know-Who of some power that will open the door for Harry to kill him. Harry has to kill him. It has been prophesied, so let it be done! Thusly:
2. Voldemort - C’mon. Yes, the books are great reads and they have turned a younger generation onto reading again, but they are just pulp fantasy novels. Granted, they are well-designed pulp novels, but nonetheless just pop works of art. Therefore they must follow a formula and so the bad guy must get his in the end. Period. I would love to be proven wrong since I love surprises, but I can’t imagine Rowling giving the world another round of sobbing like she did in Book 6. I just don’t think my poor heart can take it!

Listening to: Casanova In Hell - Pet Shop Boys