Hormel Foods just reported a 17% increase in profits for the fourth quarter. Thank God! I was worried I wouldn’t be able to buy Spam.

Recipe for a school lunch:
2 - slices white bread
1 - squirt yellow mustard
1 - slice American cheese food
1 - leaf of iceberg lettuce
2 - thick slices of cold Spam right out of the can (do not heat)

Serve at room temperature after sitting in lunch box for 4 hours.

Thanks Mom!

If you haven’t seen the teaser trailer to M. Night Shyamalan’s newest film, Lady In The Water, either in front of Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire or on the Apple site, take a look.

Am I the only one who thinks that it’s a hilarious set-up of foreign film trailers? There is no dialogue and the music of Il Postino runs throughout making it look like Paul Giamatti’s first foreign language film. Italian even. Well, isn’t Giamatti an Italian name? It’s perfect! It’s a wonderfully sublime spoof. Some have said it’s pretentious. Of course, it’s pretentious! That’s how all the “arty” foreign language film trailers come across.

And then comes the part that makes me excited to see any Shyamalan film: exactly the moment M. Night’s name appears we hear a spooky piano riff making sure you know everything is not all lasagna and love. It opens next summer. Let the hype begin!

I completely missed this pop culture boat. Had no idea that this Rolling-Stones-cute pooch was famous enough to get an obit on CNN’s website. His story is fun and the fact that he won ugliest animal contest 3 times is an testament to his formidable wryness.

My favorite part of the story? When his owner, Susie Lockheed, first rescued Sam, her then boyfriend left her over the dog. Well, that was his excuse. There is something more going on if your excuse is, “I’m leaving you. Your dog is ugly.” …or maybe he was projecting.

When did it become unpatriotic to speak your mind in a country that was partially created on the principle of free speech?